A Poor Boy's Story

Today while reading through some of the stories about my ancestors that I've found on familysearch I ran into this particular gem.  It's about John Weaver, 1776-1847, on my mother's side of the family.  Definitely had a sense of humor :)

A Poor Boy's Story

Written by Gurnsey's Granddaughter, Nellie McAllister (Daughter of Angeline Brown).

This is a true story of Grandfather Gurnsey I wrote once when we had to write a true story of Pioneer Life in school. By Nellie McAllister

A happy family was seated around a cosy fire one evening when Gurnsey asked his Grandfather for a story. "Well, you will never tire of hearing stories," said his Grandfather. "As you boys think you have a hard time of it, perhaps I had better tell you some of the experiences of my younger days. You boys don't know anything about being poor or hard work either. When I was about 14 years old, I would carry a sack of corn to mill, get it ground and then carry it back, and it was no short distance either as the mill was over a sandy hill, about four or five miles from home. I used to make about two trips a week. And I did not have solid shoes on like you have, to keep the hot sand from burning my feet.

My clothes were not very nice either, I was pleased to get a pair of pants made out of flour sacks as you seem to be when you get a nice black pair. I will never forget the first pair of buckskin pants I wore. I was about 18 years old then. I went one day to bring the cows from the pasture, which was some distance from home. I rained on me going down and as soon as my pants got wet, they began to stretch. They kept stretching and I kept rolling them up, but I got tired of rolling them and thought that they might as well be cut off then as any time. So I cut about a foot off the legs. It stopped raining by the time I started home. I got home early with the cows, but I stayed out of mother's sight as long as I could, for the new pants she had made for me the day before had shrunk! till they were about legless. It is something to laugh at now but I did not laugh that night, for I had been working about two months to earn money enough to buy those pants and a theatre ticket. The theatre was to be on the following Friday night in Salt Lake City. I had been planning to go to it for a long time and could not give it up. I felt so bad that Mother cut up one of her half worn bed ticks and made a pair of pants out of it.

Just imagine how I looked in my striped pants with half a suspender fastened to them with sticks that I had whittled out for the purpose. Well, when I got my finery on Mother gave me a list of some things she wanted from the store and I started to the city. I was tired after my long walk so as soon as I purchased the articles that Mother wanted. I sat down under a shade tree to wait till time for the theatre, I did not remain there long as it was soon time to go.

The Theatre was crowded and I took a seat by two young girls with whom I was not very well acquainted but I thought this would be a good chance to get acquainted. I enjoyed the first two or three scenes very well, but after a time the room became close and I could smell onion. It was very disagreeable, the perfume of onions became stronger, till I decided that I was as well acquainted with those girls as I wanted to be. So I took another seat, my, it was worse then ever!, and I began to think that everybody in the house had been eating onion, except myself. I was not long in changing my mind, for I put my hand in my pocket and there was the asafetida*, I had gotten for Mother. Though I have had many a laugh over it since, I felt very serious about it then. And I never felt so much as a prisoner set free, as when I left that Theatre"

(*The dictionary defines asafetida as "a fetid resinous gum obtained from the roots of a herbaceous plant, used in herbal medicine and Indian cooking." KMA)

(**Gurnsey's grandfathers were William Brown Sr. 1766-1820 from Hancock , Berkshire, Massachusetts AND John Weaver 1776-1847 Stillwater, Saratoga, New York. I guess the story could be about either of these grandfathers - Kathleen Mitchell Abrams)

Just Breathe

A month and a half ago I worked late, arriving home around 1:30 AM.  I lay down for a while, reading to wind down so that I could go to sleep.  Rolling from my right side onto my back,  I suddenly felt a numbness in my abdomen, kind of like when your hand goes numb but inside my upper right side.  After the numbness wore off about fifteen minutes later, I felt a dull aching.  Not wanting to push my luck, I set up an appointment with a doctor at my clinic for a couple of days later.

To make a long story short, since that time I have seen two doctors and one nurse practitioner at my clinic, a GI specialist twice (including upper and lower endoscopies), had a nuclear HIDA scan and seen a surgeon.  Here is what has been found, more or less in chronological order:

Prediabetes
Anemia
Vitamin D Deficiency
Chronic Cholecystitis
Biliary Gastric Reflux
LA Grade B reflux esophagitis
Chronic Gastritis
Hemorrhoids
Hiatus Hernia

In addition to the upper right abdominal pain and numbness in my gallbladder, I have had some as yet unidentified pain in my right and left sides as well as some upper left abdominal numbness and pain.  Woof.

For the prediabetes I have worked on cutting back my sugar intake and increasing my physical activity (though this was curtailed by my abdominal pain).  For the iron deficiency anemia, possibly caused by the esophagitis and gastritis, I began taking Iron supplements--what a difference!  I feel like my brain is firing on all cylinders again, or at least much much closer to it.  For the gastritis and esophagitis I am taking omeprazole, and for the hernia, well, I have a follow up with my GI specialist scheduled.

For the chronic cholecystitis, we made the decision to get my gallbladder out.  As I had been experiencing increasing pain and discomfort, and have a presentation scheduled for early October that I wanted to be recovered for, we scheduled the surgery for Monday, September 8th.  My dad accompanied me to the hospital and, fortunately, stayed through the surgery.  I liked my surgical team-they all had a sense of humor, and got along well with each other while being very professional in their interactions with me and each other.

While the surgery went well, it got rocky afterwards.  I remember waking in recovery in pain, and was given some demerol.  While it did temper the pain, it was still intense enough that they gave me a second shot.  During this time I made a conscious effort to wake up, wanting to be aware of everything as much as possible.  I vaguely remember getting moved to a different room, and being told that I didn't need oxygen anymore.  I had been talkative and my oxygen levels had been reading well.  I took off the oxygen line as the nurse had already turned off the oxygen.  I remember the nurse leaving and my dad mentioning that he was going to go to the pharmacy to pick up my post-surgery meds (bear in mind that these memories are rather fuzzy, as I had been under anesthesia and was now on some very strong pain killers).  Though I had been trying not to, I fell asleep again pretty immediately.

I woke up some time later to anxious voices and a full oxygen mask on.  My dad had returned from a long wait at the pharmacy to find me unconscious, absolutely white and barely breathing.  He tried to wake me, and called the nurse who arrived a couple of minutes later.  After both failed to wake me, they made efforts to resuscitate me and increase my oxygen level, which had dropped to 33 (safe is 90).  It took some time but eventually I came around, very lethargic and with a major ringing in my ears, which fortunately faded as my oxygen level came up.  I continued to fade in and out, and the decision was made to admit me to the hospital for the night.  My mom had come by this point, and she is the one that accompanied to  my room.

What followed was a very rough night-while I mostly did ok after being moved to my own room, I remained on oxygen all night.  Mom stayed with me until sometime between nine and ten, at which point we both agreed it was ok for her to go home and get some rest.  For myself, I don't know that I had more than fifteen minutes or so of sleep at a time.  Between the nurses checking on me, the post-op pain, the need to use the restroom, I'm glad that I wasn't sent home.  At one point, trying to avoid a migraine due to a very stiff neck, I raised my bed and became nauseous--a state I definitely didn't appreciate given the now increasing pain at the surgical sight.  I tried to breathe to temper the nausea but only succeeded in making myself hyperventilate--ouch!  I was crying and couldn't get control.  I was given some anti-nausea and pain meds through my IV, and asked for my phone and kindle to distract me.  After the nurses left the room I turned on my phone and started playing the music in my "spiritual" playlist, a way to connect with my Heavenly Father.  I ended up starting to sing along with the songs, starting with "I Know that My Redeemer Lives", a beautiful rendition and a very true statement in one.  I ended up singing for almost an hour, until I was able to sing normally.  Even better than normally actually, as I was singing in soprano ranges that I don't normally hit all that well any longer.

By that time I had calmed down, got my breathing under control, the pain and nausea were taken care of, and I was (both fortunately and unfortunately) well hydrated.  Though I did have to get up at least three times over the next couple of hours to relieve myself (ouch!), I believe that marks the turning point.  I steadily got better over the rest of the morning, decreasing iv meds and coming off continuous oxygen (though when I started dozing I had to go back on for a time, I eventually had it off for over six hours).  I was finally ok to come home, though in conversation with my surgeon we discussed and agreed to having an oxygen machine delivered to my house for use at night, since my level was still dropping if I started dozing off.

During the course of the day, dad had come and spent several hours with me.  He helped me pass the time, got me three different set of earbuds from the gift shop (my favorite set has a squirrel on one earbud and an acorn on the other), and some gorgeous white, purple and pink flowers in a very cute mug with Thumper (from Bambi) on it.  He eventually had to leave for an appointment, after which mom joined me back at the hospital.  After dinner I came home, hanging out in my living room for a couple of hours until the oxygen machine was delivered.  Once mom and I had it all set up in my room I went to bed.  I slept soundly for an amazing twelve hours, waking only once when mom checked on me and not getting up until after dad checked on me.  I am so glad to be home :)

WTD Scottsdale Trip Day Four

Yep.  Here it is.



He's a leprechaun, of course he's magical!

I support leprechauns!  They have no reason to torment me.

I had to look at myself in the mirror 'cause I'm cute.

She's already writing things down.

Will you get me some orange juice if I sit on your butter?

It's not "leg"er.  You are not maintaining the integrity of the product.

It's going to have an identity crisis right before you end it's life.

I'm not being funny I'm serious.

It doesn't help to remind me right after I tell you to remind me.

Have you read that book on brain development?
No I haven't!  What are you implying?

But not quite that girly.

I just feel like I should be part of the Scipio part, you know?

Don't punish the maids.
But I'm mad at it!

Tell the elevator to go fast!

I'm gonna hyperventilate on purpose.

Deborah's in front of you and you still went the wrong way?

My dirt man's in a cup holder!  Don't knock him down.

That wasn't funny so you don't need to write that down.

Now it's a quad-wizard tournament.
That sounds a lot stupider.

Somebody's king of the bumble bee crowns.

My dirt man is leaking.  He's dirting to death.

If we hit Payson by six we can have breakfast.

At least its an orange car so it's really obvious.

That's really sweet Deborah!
I'm sure that's what she was going for.

Sarah do you want a stomp rocket?

I have faith in you guys to fit.

Ya we're listening to Parry Hotter.

She's our savior.  Oh, we better roll up the windows.

My purse is sitting at your feet.

'K Amy I'll pull the lever, you push.

Oh no, your knees aren't even touching!

I was gonna call you but I blinked and we were already out of Scipio.

And you have the hiccups.
And I have the hiccups.

And I was kind of disappointed when it worked.

Amy sat on Deborah's butter two days in a row

Look there's a tow truck.  But it already has a truck.

If we give you some blue will you turn purple?

Mom I stole ramen, thanks.

What are you doing?
Playing!
Ok
Don't question my sanity.

Your car hates you

Deborah makes a habit out of hanging out the window like that

I love you the most I came and saved you.
I love you the least I killed your car.

It says Duke's!

I'm glad you wore the pink ones today.
Me too.

It's so pretty!

I found something shiny for you!

Various pieces of car

All singles baby!

I patted it.
That was nice.

That was the best growing laugh ever.

That was awesome!  I teared up a little.

Well at least we have our lucky monkeys.

Somebody liked my comment.

Who grounded me?

Just tell her I'll kick her in the shin

What about me?  I'm here too!
You can tag the inside of her car and put her on it.

Not that we ever did but we could've; now we can't.

I can't run, are you kidding?

If you're gonna do something, stand up on the freeway.

Which also means its not freezing, so that's good

You also weren't open so therefor I wasn't talking to you.

Love tap!  I lost my ball.

My orange ones are actually in my orange car

Should we steal this pole?

Probably not they don't make them very user-friendly

Hey, we just went over 10 miles per hour just then

That's sadder than us 'cause we had Sarah

He laughed when I told him about it.

Do you have a car mechanic one for Sarah?

It's like, I have pants.  That's fine.

They have a lemur hanging from their handle

I was an ant.  Amy was a fish.

Hi Dad!
Hola!
No!

You have to have 2 to have a valley

I didn't do it on purpose it just does it for fun!

It moves so easily it's a fun game now.  Wanna try it?

It's pollution!  And I would feel bad.

Back before it was built it wasn't there yet.

Guys lets pretend we care just for her!

You're grounded from Real.  Just because they're rude.  You can't spend any money on them for two weeks.

And then he didn't.  He stopped at the diner in the middle of nowhere.

870 PAR.  I bet I could par that hole.

We weren't expecting that at all.

WTD Scottsdale Trip Day Three Point Eight Five

Ok so I posted the original Day Three thinking that we were done for the night.  We were watching a movie, most of the lights were out, two of the three of us in bed.  Little did I know that Amy would be getting online to read what had already been posted....

Ya I did it so fast you didn't see.

It's nice how they got all that rebar sticking out there.

There comes the Flarx guy!

Every time she laughs her head his the board!

I have to hold my head when I laugh!

Shush, I'm getting you phead hones!

Stop laughing!  This is the scariest part of the movie!

This is the most we've laughed in three days

I'm crying down my nose! Ow! My throat hurts real bad!

That's the Larks guy?
Oooh she said it right!

Ouch, rugburn!
Mom they're on concrete

You guys really shouldn't have been funny, I already posted today.

It is the magic word.  Gets all sorts of things done.

What was the climax?
The whole chase scene where they kill the flax guy.

I don't know!  But I'm crying all over my IPad

You thought you were done Deborah!  You thought it was bedtime!

It's not even that funny.

That's not the point!

Stop it!
I'm sorry!

I'm crying all over my boobs!
Why would you even say that out loud?
Because it's true, I had to move my thing

She's so stupid!
It's so funny!

And I did that!
You did

Did I say that?
I did!
Ok

We haven't hover-hugged anything!

You wrote that down?

Deborah did!  It was a milkshake!

Why did you forget everything you said?
Because I didn't write it down

I did that after Amy so our smells would mingle.

Ow, they're all twitchy and weird

Just 'cause your ears don't work doesn't mean it wasn't on!

I didn't say that was the night light!

I have to get my boring book.
What book?
The brain book.
It's boring?
Not really but it puts me to sleep

Death comes unexpectedly!
Don't spit at me.

You can't go pth~~~~~~ if you're smiling!
That's one I learned! That you can't go pth~~~~~~~~ if you're smiling

Don't write that down it sounds really dirty

You guys got unfunny really fast

Then you'll have to do a 3 part 2

Will you guys go to sleep now so I can stop writing?
Yes.

Good job guys I'm so proud.
We tried.

You just called 'em a pea-brain mom

Don't, if I start it's not gonna stop!  Don't don't! I lost it!

Take a deep breath and look at these stupid lines on the ceiling

Ow! That hurts! I told you not to!

Go for a walk.  Go throw up in the bathroom in the lobby.

I might.  Then I'd throw up all over Deborah's bed. 'Cause I'm not getting up.

Sh!!! Stop talking.

If you don't react, I don't react.  SSHHHHhhhhh........

WTD Scottsdale Trip Day Three

Day three of four, enjoy!


Oooh.

It is called "butt"er.

I must be wicked.  Because of my stiffneckedness.

I can make a baby out of this now!

It was like a conga line in the middle of the session!

I did that earlier.  I looked at it and said "I could hug that.  I could hover-hug that cactus."

I'll play with your hair.

Our job is human task

We should stomp the puppet!

I can't play this game anymore.  I'm out of lives.

Mom just pinched my butt!
Don't look at me.
You're supposed to be outraged!

I cleaned up the orange juice.

You're mom.  You're not supposed to stomp on my foot anyway.

Fish arm, fish arm!

Just for that, you can't come.

Trees or trays, I have none.

O'Briens Pub.  I like them apples.

I didn't tell her!

Not in my dreams.
Why would I steal it in your dreams?
Because I wouldn't let you.
That didn't even make sense.

Holy Cow!

Ya but it doesn't have a shovel either.

Mom, please stop playing footsies with my knee.

'Cause you're not Utahns.

And they all pronounce their h's.  Do you say hoowhip?

And then I decided I didn't want a mortal enemy 'cause then we'd be trying to kill each other.

I'm straddling a pole.

That came out worse than I anticipated.

I'm just holding your shoe!  And that's making me ticklish.

Oh my gosh everyone should want to be our friend right now!

He says I'm a white girl trying to be Mexican and I just can't get there.

Thank you.  I was running out of stuff to sniff.

Now it's gonna have a wavy finger in it

I live in an 'ouse

Cool whip?  Really?  It's just not that funny.

When you go home you can tell C'ase

I love you, a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.  A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap
'Eap!

Nobody likes it they're all getting tired of seeing you

It's like eating sugar-coated air

I'm sticky I need to stop.

Aaron laughed.

I gotta pee!
I gotta q.

Will you take this to Kevin?

Because I haven't for two days.  And I'm totally fine with that.

I do like my donkey.  I think he's cute.

We don't know yet mom, chillax!

I would have said killax.  You're right, cillax sounds better.

If you don't stop talking, I'm gonna pop your toe!

Just want to let you know that every time I walk in front of the tv I want to do a sexy dance.

He's a junkie mom.  A government prescribed junkie.

Boy we are brilliant.  We really are.

You don't very often see flying bras.
I do all the time.

WTD Scottsdale Trip Day Two

Contributing Artists:  Karrie, Amy and Deborah

It's probably because I'm joyful and I flip my head a lot.

Deborah, mom keeps touching me!  Death comes unexpectedly.

I was just expressing my joy!  Do I have to flip my head for you to understand it?

Stop being funny!  I didn't bring the notebook!

Deborah, find the syrup.  I can't, I'm writing that down.

Did I make you write something crazy?  Nope I'm just good like that yo.

I guess deep down I just love Deborah more than you

Mom you have a phone.  It's obvious you love it more than me.

Arizona's kind of a big place.  If it wasn't it wouldn't have taken us so long to drive to the middle.

I don't believe in those buttons.
I know!  They never do anything.

Mom, you know we're on the second floor, right?

Amy can I have your orange bags?
No.
They're really cute!
That's why I bought them.

Quick, be funny so I can write it down!
I got nothin'.

I'm saving your life, hold on.  You're shedding.

I'm not even listening.
I know.

Who's crazy, I'm crazy?
I said go to Training Table.

Girls, do I need to separate you?

We're sorry.
It's ok.
Good, 'cause we're not actually sorry.

You were playing kneesies with me?

My shoe didn't start stabbing me 'til the last class.

Ow Ow Ow I don't bend that way!

It's really quiet.
I know, it's really cute.
What?

I need to go to the bathroom.  Don't steal my stuff, 'kay?

I wouldn't get arrested for my reaction to catsup down my shirt.  Unless you decided to press charges.

This bacon's dead.  Can't you hear it crunchin'?

Why would you ban pie?
He was a pieist.

No! We have to be the same!  We've been different all day!

Cover your apple.

I didn't look.  I just knew.

It's six o'clock, we could eat breakfast.
We just did.

Is that Deborah OK or Deborah K?

Ring a bell.  Ding!

He did the one whole joke all by himself.

Did you just shoot me with your keys?

She's writing that down.
She does that.  That's why I'm holding the pie.

You're the kind of people my mom warned me about.

Can I hit you in the butt with my shirt?  That was fun.

She's gonna shoot me with her keys again!

Death comes unexpectedly.
Then I should eat it now.

WTD Scottsdale Trip Day One

Mom, Amy and I are on a four-day road trip together to Scottsdale, AZ.  Mom and Amy for a child care conference, myself for a sanity break.  Enjoy our one, two, and sometimes three-liners from day one :)

We'll turn the air on in Payson.

If I start to fall asleep I'm going to wake up and punch you in the leg.

That's not my seat.  Or underneath it.  Or me.

You have a crossword thing in your acrobat?

That's a lot funnier than it should be.

I have really bad handwriting in the dark.

I can't jump while I'm driving

I'm both sorry and heart-warmed at the same time.

I can't be careful it's so against my nature!

I can't go to sleep my oatmeal's not done.

My handwriting is better now that the sun is up.

Mom your phone went off!  Here Deborah.

Stop touching me!  I'd rather have blue hair!

She's already mummified give her a break.

We gotta call Amy when we're in Scipio

Seriously you've gotta find a way to write that down.

Mom your purse ate the bones!

Is that tickling your bum?

This is a fun road.  You guys should go to sleep.

I wrote South Dakota in the dark.

Stop being funny when I can't hear

I want to get credit for all the stuff I don't do

DEATH COMES UNEXPECTEDLY!!

Is that a garbage truck?
Yep, let's wave.
He waved!

Deborah don't look down!

By the way it's not 'O, a dear!' its 'Doe, a deer'

Watch my cup while you eat your banana and when I get back I'll watch your banana while I eat your cup.

Will you carry my drink while we walk to the donkey and I'll pull the thinger off.

I saw what I thought was a bear cub but it was a tree trunk.

Chipmunk!  I saw more wildlife!

I'll put a picture of you and a donkey on facebook

Sometimes its not on accident but I blame it on my phone

You can't be funny 'cause I'll get carsick

Navigation can be wrong.  Besides, death comes unexpectedly.

Hurry hurry hurry!  There's no cars coming!  Hurry! Hurry!

You can hover hug it.

We got stuck in a parking lot twice today.

Don't hit the old guy.  There's not many points in that.

Is that ok Deborah?  Can we talk child care?

She's writing that down mom.

Deborah get outta the dang car

It's kinda sweat and hotty here

I didn't say you could bend my book mom!

Why'd you close it?  'Cause mom's reading a brain book.

It's really weird when her toes are wiggling out side my eyeballs

I wore this shirt and I keep looking down and seeing my pedometer

I'm not writing that down but I kind of want to

We eat spinach at my house.

Are you hoping I'll write that down?  No, I just found out recently I like leaves.

We're just gonna bombard him everytime he comes over here

You're spoiled! She whined.

That seems like it took a lot of effort.  It did.

What if I don't hear it?  We could be dead!  Death comes unexpectedly!

I don't know how to write all that down, so I'm just not going to.

That implies we have entire conversations that are funny, not just one-liners.

I never actually eat my leftovers so I can't take them home to Chase tonight.  Kevin would eat my leftovers.

I'm gonna suck up my brownies now.

I don't know your whole binder clip system, so I'm going to ignore it.

I guess you better take the notebook 'cause she can't say funny things to herself.

Chase has really big lips too, our kids are doomed.