What Makes it Good?

How often do you evaluate the movies you see? About the movie as a whole, or the plot, the characters, the acting, the graphics, the music? On these topics I imagine we analyze them both conciously and subconciously throughout the experience as well as right afterwards. We talk of how the parts came together to create the whole, about the merits of this actor/actress, how they brought out their character. How the movie was too slow in this part or how everything blended together perfectly. Perhaps we discuss the pros and cons of sequels, either to eagerly anticipate the next installment or shake our heads and wonder why they're wasting their money when they should have spent it making this one better first.

Though I've never studied film-making, acting, or any such portion of the movie industry, I invite myself in as a movie lover. Without those such as myself there would be no blockbusters, no midnight releases, no box office top ten lists. There would be no thought of a sequel, for who would have gone to see the first? I've never spent time and money listening to critics and professionals tell me how to appreciate their version of a "good movie" or cast disdain on their version of a "bad movie" simply because I don't care to let others decide what makes me happy. What has never occured to me before this, however, is why they make me happy.

Our family owns hundreds of movies. Literally. VHS, DVD, BluRay, Digital. I myself own 40 or 50 (pithy in comparison, I know, but as I still live more or less at home, why bother spending my money on those I know my family will buy?). My favorite movies include Star Trek, The Little Mermaid, Cinderella Man, and The Lord of the Rings to name just a few. I think the ones I love most draw on some aspect of my passion, my romanticism, my perception of my identity, to allow me to be drawn in, to relate to the characters and story and appreciate the work that went into them. Does this make them "good"? Perhaps, perhaps not. Who am I to decide for anyone but myself?

Tonight I saw a movie that truly blew all other movies I've seen this year completely out of the water. And lets face it, there have been quite a few incredible movies this year: Julie and Julia, Up, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Star Trek (I've watched my copy alone over 10 times), Avatar, Sherlock Holmes, Terminator Salvation, and Transformers 2 just to name a very few. I appreciated many of these for their plots, their music, their casts, their special effects, their expansion of their genres. So what is it about this movie that rises above all these others? Simple. It not only drew me into the story, the lives of those portrayed (brilliantly, it must be said), but gave me much in return. What is the movie I've taken four paragraphs to get to? Invictus.

It's not often that I walk out of a movie theater feeling truly better than when I entered. It's even more rare when I walk out with more self-esteem. I don't know the last time, if ever, that I walked out of a movie with a positive sense of purpose to truly improve, progress, challenge myself to raise the bar because the standards I only subconciously set for myself are proven to be lower than what I know I can truly attain in this my life.

If you want special effects, go see Avatar, you won't be disappointed. If you want a good, solid, fast-paced sci-fi, by all means watch Star Trek. If you want a wonderfully diverse family-friendly flick, I highly recommend The Princess and the Frog. If you want to learn more of the world, see Invictus. If you want to learn more of how public opinion shapes politics, and how politicians can shape public perception see Invictus. If you want to see Morgan Freeman in a role that truly brings out his genius, see Invictus. Perhaps most of all, though, if you want to learn more about yourself, about what draws on your heart and intellect both, about the effect that one person can have on the lives of many others no matter who they are, please, see Invictus. While I can't speak for anyone else, I will tell you this: I walked into that theater alone and a bit lonely, and walked out feeling loved.

December-Out like a...frisky puppy!

Well, maybe not a frisky puppy, but not really a lamb either :) The annual Petty Christmas Party was held in Draper on Sunday and was fun. We talked, we ate, and we did a gift exchange. Fortunately Santa Claus had other engagements and didn't make an appearance this year (which was fine with all of us, as the 5 great-grandchildren in attendance were too young and the rest of us too old).

I actually took a Christmas vacation this year-three days, mostly to myself or with family (as Christmas vacations should be spent). On Wednesday I slept in a bit, went to physical therapy, and spent the rest of the day doing laundry, some cleaning, and other odds and ends that I can't really remember but I'm sure I enjoyed. Christmas Eve found me sleeping in again (yay sleep!) and then going downtown with Mom, Michael, Jane and Morgan to DG, where some of us played, and one of us did all of her Christmas shopping (it was pay day, and fortunately only took me an hour) and working (a few things cropped up while I was there). Lisa and Dalton came up too and we all went to lunch together, after which I made another stop back at work before going home, where I spent some time watching White Christmas and wrapping presents.

That night was the Phillips Christmas Party, this time hosted at our house. We ate, watched the three dogs tumble and play, and watched the younger kids open presents from Grandma and Grandpa Phillips. Afterwards those who were spending the night got on our new pajamas courtesy the Pajama Fairy (thanks Mom!). Laura and Chris then joined me in my appartment where they watched White Christmas and wrapped their family's presents while I did my physical therapy exercises, which got rid of a headache I'd been fighting all day. Most of the family started watching our annual movie It's a Wonderful Life, though Chris, Laura and I stayed in my place to finish watching White Christmas (it was a White Christmas marathon on AMC, if you were wondering :)). I fell asleep pretty quickly that night, even before they were done playing Santa Claus--there were three or four people right outside my open bedroom door.

We all got up at about 7:00 Christmas morning, where we opened the presents we had received, and then watched Jane open her presents. It took a while, as she totally loved the second or third present--a set of toy dishes. She wasn't at all interested in opening any more until she was told she could play with the dishes afterward. We also called a few people and caroled-Chase (Amy's fiance), Lisa (the only one who answered), and Michael (Chris's brother, who didn't answer and had no idea who was calling :)). Mom made a delicious breakfast, after which I took a short nap and then went to the movies with Amy, Laura and Chris. We saw Sherlock Holmes-what a great movie!!-and then returned home where Laura was a mom again and I spent most of the rest of the day watching Star Trek Voyager (finally on Season 7, yay!) on a new LCD TV. Cool, eh? Ok so it's a 15" LCD, but still and LCD :)

I went to work this morning planning on it being busy but expecting it to be just a regular Saturday for the most part. Fortunately for me (though unfortunately for the museum) it was much like a normal Saturday, though we had a few busy waves come through. I took advantage of our increased staff discount to purchase a Perplexus, a 3D maze game that we got in earlier this week and have already sold most of them. I also brought home some Kapla blocks- a set of blocks that are all equal in size. While it might sound boring, they're actually a lot of fun. You can build almost anything you put your mind to.

Overall I've quite thoroughly enjoyed this Christmas season. I'm looking forward to much book shopping in the near future (I got a total $75 in gift cards to Barnes and Noble) and using my new knives and my other presents. Merry Christmas!

December-In like a Lion...

This month has been one for the books. A lot of ups and downs, ins and outs. Fortunately, I'm on an upswing. Thank you Christmas!

As I mentioned before, I saw a neurologist about my migraines. He prescribed the physical therapy (which has already made a big difference!), a new 'when-I-get-a-migraine' medicine (still haven't filled that one...anyone have $100 lying around?), a preventative called Zonisamide, and no more caffeine. I quit caffeine that day and got the Zonisamide. Everything went quite well for the first few days (caffeine withdrawal headaches aside)-I didn't get a migraine, I was getting plenty of sleep, my attitude perked up and I was pretty happy for the most part. Unfortunately, I did a complete 180 after only five or so days on the medicine, and completely bottomed out about 3 days later. Literaly. It was honestly the scariest thing I can ever remember going through.

I normally am able to focus on what's going on, and catch myself (at least to some degree) when I'm feeling down and can then work through whatever trial is at hand, be it a new manifestation of an old concern or a new one all-together. My dad has definitely helped in this process over the last several years (thanks Dad!). I started noticing though that I was sinking fast. I started getting down on a Sunday. Monday and Tuesday were progressively harder to work through, and I began to get an idea that something was wrong, but I didn't take the time to really sit and figure it out.

I started my physical therapy early on Wednesday morning and went straight to work, where I knew after only an hour or so that something was seriously wrong. I was fine when it was just me, but after we had been open only an hour or so I couldn't stay still. Everygthing was getting on my nerves, and I was jittery. It reached a point where I could not focus-my first desire was to start running. Somewhere, anywhere, as long as I possibly could and longer. Knowing I couldn't do that, I took a 15 minute break (I NEVER take 15's) and walked briskly around the Gateway Mall on a day where the temperature didn't even get to 30. My face was numb by the end, but I had expended some of my energy and finally was able to focus to some small degree on getting online orders out (our online store, almost discontinued, blew last year's numbers out of the water and will now live on (YAY!)). Another indication that something was totally wrong came in that I could not tolerate what I perceived as lazy behavior in my coworkers. While I normally make myself look at a situation more objectively, I had to force myself to not blow the situation out of the water completely. As it was I did later apologize to one coworker who got the short end of my temper (though it was much tempered, it was rather extreme of me).

I made it through the workday only by sheer force of will and the help of the Spirit, for I did not do it alone. My coworkers caught on after a bit that something was NOT right (thanks Megan and Joe especially!) and the day eventually came to a close--but not until about 7:30 or 8:00 as I did the night's reports on my own and then remembered that another register had to be set up for the next day. I had come to suspect early in the day that the Zonisamide was playing a part, and I definitely received a confirmation of that after getting home and taking another dose. Oh dear.

I swung quickly from extreme frustration to anxiety attacks (which I've never had before that night) to sobbing uncontrollably, all within minutes or even seconds of each other. The only times I felt any peace at all that night were in a short but definitely earnest prayer and later when I received a Father's Blessing, without which I would have gone to the hospital. Fortunately I had the next day off. I slept in, and then (foolishly) drove to my neurologist's office. I was feeling more or less ok that morning, but shortely after arriving everything came back almost full-swing. I think I scared the receptionist (which was kind of funny in hind-sight, but not then) and barely lasted the 10 or 15 minute wait for the doctor's response, which was to stop taking the medicine (well duh!) and come back in a week. Arg. I spent the rest of the day napping on the couch and watching Star Trek (Chris Pine does an amazing job, and Zachary Quinto's right up there with him).

The next six days were bumpy at best with frequent anxiety issues, though each day got a little better. One friend finally explained what was going on-Organic Depression triggered by the Zonisamide. It was a small relief just to have an idea, a name to go with the roller-coaster ride. I finally saw the neurologist again a week after my trip to his office. After apologizing to the receptionist, that is ;). I was told to list Zonisamide as an allergy in the future and given a new preventative--one that I've been on before and didn't react to negatively. I also learned that the medicine was completely out of my system 3 days after I stopped taking it, though I personally was still trying to recover. No more anxiety, finally able to concentrate, no more tip-toeing around words at work (well, no more than usual, anyways) the next day. Ah, relief.

I think I'll end this one here and start another for Christmas. Bravo to those who read this whole thing :)

And the plot thickens...

I saw a neurologist today. The first time in my life I've seen one, which is kindof odd I suppose when for over a decade I've been getting different treatments for migraines. I was actually rather impressed. Dr. Evan Black took detailed notes and also answered my questions without being at all condescending, something he shares with my cardiologist and my primary care physician. I've totally lucked out. I did get the impression though that it's a bit of a sore spot between neurology and cardiology on whether or not PFO closures help migraines.

He told me to quite caffeine and gave me three prescriptions, one for when I get migraines (the copay alone on that one is $95, I'm holding off for now...), one for a preventative-four pills a night of a med usually used for seizures, and one for (drum roll please) physical therapy. That's a first. I've had variations of the first, I've tried a preventative with mixed results, but never have I been refered for physical therapy. I'm certainly hopeful, many of my migraines start because of the tension in my neck. The only downside to it, at the moment, is that my first apointment at TOSH is Monday...morning...at 6:30 AM. Oh joy ;)

I am always curious though about the range of medications I've been prescribed in the past. My first preventative was an anti-depressant. One doctor tried giving me regular migraine meds, followed by a heart medicine, then a different prescription for seizures. Guess we'll see how this latest combination works out :)

The Passing of a Friend

I lost a good friend this week. This friend has been there, through thick and thin, in good times and in bad times. No matter what kind of mood I was in, or how long it had been since our last interaction, this friend never left me. This friend passed no judgements, offered no criticism, was around for every holiday, work day, weekday, weekend. Every winter and summer, spring and fall . For about five or so years this friend has seen it all. Best of all, this friend came free of charge.

Yes, it is sad but true. My TV has finally passed on. Thank you, TV, for your years of dedicated service. I shall never again know your like (mostly because they don't make your model anymore....that and I'm broke).

Crazy? Plenty of evidence for it...

I spent last night on my couch. Again. Sigh.

I'm not the best at keeping things clean. Since moving to this back apartment, though, I've never let it get too out of hand, but if you were to walk in at any given moment you would invariably find something that has gone undone, most typically the dishes. For a week or so, though, I've had clean laundry waiting to be put away. Not to be deterred from my leisure in order to do it, however, it spent some time migrating back and forth from the bed to the couch and back again. If I was too tired to move it from the bed I would just sleep on the couch. While I do have a comfortable couch, my neck is paying the price.

A week or so I got an email announcement for my ward's book club, for which there wasn't yet a meeting place set up. Having been in charge of the book club before and wanting to help (and knowing I'd be much more likely to attend if it was at my place), I emailed the new leader and offered to host. It was on a Wednesday, and I anticipated having the entire day beforehand to get my home cleaned up and ready.

A few days later, my boss and I were discussing the schedule. All of his meetings had been moved from Monday and Wednesday to Thursdays, one of his days off. Having experience in scheduling, I knew the thing that made the most sense was for us to switch days off (which he had already discussed with his boss, but I made the suggestion before he could ask :)). It wasn't until later that I realized that this would put a damper on my plans for book club. I wouldn't get home until a few minutes before it was scheduled to start. Oh dear. I started cleaning a bit on Sunday, but didn't get anything major done until Monday. I got some dishes and laundry cleaned while making brownies for FHE that night, which turned out very good, thank you very much.

I had thought I'd have more time on Tuesday to finish up, but after receiving an email that day with an offer for free tickets to Curtains! at Hale Centre Theatre, I got a couple and took my sister Amy along. The play was great--a musical, murder mystery comedy. I got a kick out of the guy in the lead, he was perfect for it--so expressive, engaging, and not to mention attractive ;) It was also rather amusing to watch the crowd- Hale has a center stage, with seats all around. The people on the front rows across the way provided a nice side-plot--the family with a dad soo excited to be there that the teenage son (in a pink shirt...) finally got into it as well. The man who when one of the actresses was dancing in front of him watched her while occasionally shooting guilty glances in his wife's direction to see if she noticed and then later tried his best to avoid looking at the actress (hard, as she played one of the main characters, lol). Just off to my left on the front row was another, older man who, during the same dance kept staring at the actress in front of him. When she winked at him, his wife whipped around to glare at him suspiciously (or at least I would suppose, as I didn't actually see this part but Amy did).

I made it home sometime around 10:30 or so and set to cleaning up. It only took until...oh...2:30 or so. My laundry was put away, my movie shelves arranged, my dishes (while not clean) all moved to the kitchen, my table cleared off, a couple of pictures put up. I knelt to pray at the end of the night and got the impression that I needed to read my scriptures to help me through the next day. After a chapter of the Book of Helaman, I finally went to sleep sometime around 3:00.

I got up the next morning and made it to work. One of the first things I found was a virus on our main Retail register. I ended up having to trade that system with another register, which took about 20 minutes or so. We also had an event that day for which we got the check-in information a bit late, but fortunately I work with some very talented people who were able to work it out. I did however run up against several challenges of my own throughout the day. The Lord knew what He was saying when I was prompted to read the scriptures. For all I don't recall anything relating to what I went through, the spiritual boost was definitely needed. I was very happy to be on my way home.

Book club went well. Mom kindly baked my cookies for me, so that when I made it all I had to do was set up some extra chairs and put up a couple of signs. After everyone left, I enjoyed my clean living room and relished in the fact that I had the next day, today, off. I ended up falling asleep on the couch, despite the fact that no laundry covered my bed. Ah life. My neck is stiffer than ever, but at least I know better than to avoid going to the trouble of walking the 15 feet or so to my room :)

Yep, um, yeah, uh huh, and how!

I keep waiting for something that seems worth blogging about, and in the meantime I've let much slip past. Go figure.

I took last week off for a "stay-cation," during which I stayed home almost all day every day. I had a migraine from Sunday through Monday morning, at which point it finally left and I could function on some level. That being said, the migraine wasn't as bad as usual, and I'm wondering if being on an aspirin a day has helped. For FHE that night we combined with several other groups at the church for pumpkin carving, though I confess I spent most of the hour socializing for a change :).

The highlight of Tuesday was taking Michael up to the Clark Planetarium. After some debate, we got tickets to one of the IMAX shows and then got dinner from the food court to pass the time. We got back to the Planetarium in plenty of time, but unfortunately the upper floor was closed down for a private event. We spent the time wandering the open exhibits and the gift shop, then sitting at a table where Michael kept trying to convince me it was time to buy concessions. Not wanting to run out, I held out, though most of it was gone before the movie was half over. The movie was called Fighter Pilot:Operation Red Flag, which followed a jet pilot through portions of training in battle simulations, quite fascinating, informative, and intimidating all at the same time. What our soldiers go through is both amazing and daunting, and I hope that we as a country can honor them for their service.

At the end of the day I went up to the front of the house to visit mom and dad for a bit, and found them in the middle of a conversation. Afterwards I ended up helping mom empty a set of bookshelves, which she gave to me, and then helping her bring in another set that better matched her decor. On Wednesday the highlight was a visit from my Visiting Teachers. It gave me a reason to clean the apartment, and I finally had laundry and clean dishes. I was also able to get all of my books shuffled around the way I wanted them, and happy day! I love books, and this certainly reaffirmed my satisifaction in my collection, though I confess that I'd rather not move anytime soon, thank you very much. Here is the before picture from when I moved in:

And here is what the look like as of a few minutes ago when I took the picture:

Happy Day :) For the last big event of Wednesday, I finally assembled a 3D puzzle of the Eiffel Tower while watching Star Trek: Voyager. I've had the puzzle for years, seven or eight at least, and it had been started but never finished. Now that I have a place of my own and am free to decorate it however I choose, without fear of it being moved, or disassembled or in any way. I was up until at least 3 AM completing it:

On Thursday I slept in until past noon. I got up and picked up Voyager where I left off. I had borrowed all 7 seasons from my friend Nate, and had fallen off watching it some time back. I was half way through season 2, and am now almost done with season 4. It was 4:00 before I realized the time, and had only a short time to prepare a Visiting Teaching lesson of my own. After our first visit, about two hours later, I had another hour or so to refine the lesson, and to help dad in getting dinner for him, Michael, and myself. After the second and final lesson, I returne home and watched more Voyager, but only an episode or two as I went to bed early in hopes of a productive Friday, and to not completely blow my sleep schedule as I had to work on Saturday.

Mom woke me up on Friday to ask if I wanted to go to WinCo with her, a new discount grocery store that opened recently on 7200 South right off the freeway. As it was payday, and I had spent the week on the last of my food supply, I jumped on the chance and spent the entire morning with her, first at WinCo, then Costco, and finally Walmart for some last minute additions. All told, I spent over $300 between groceries and bills. After unloading everything I did some more laundry and spent the rest of the day doing...something...mostly involving watching Star Trek and playing Taipei on the computer. We were going to attend the neighborhood Halloween party, but opted to stay home instead.

Saturday marked the last morning I had to myself and my first day back at work. I think I enjoyed the morning, but I confess it hard to remember. At work I first helped close out a couple of registers, and then spent the next three or so hours going over and correcting the reports that had been generated in my absence. In the meantime the museum's Spooktacular event was going on, and our admissions numbers were significantly higher than they had been for the weeks prior, keeping everybody on their toes. Welcome Back, eh? It was both frustrating and exciting, though I confess I wouldn't have minded a couple more days to myself ;)

Fortunately I had Sunday as a buffer. I went to Sacrament Meeting and then choir practice, followed by yet more Star Trek and then cards at Grandma and Grandpa Petty's, where of course mom and Grandma blew the rest of us completely out of the water, despite Grandpa's cheating ;) Several more episodes of Star Trek later, I finally went to bed for the night, not sure whether to be excited or dread the next day.

I suppose dread won out, as I got off to a bad start and it only got worse. When I got home I was in no mood to prepare an FHE lesson, but got right online and chose a General Conference talk. I guess the Spirit had a hand in it, as I finally chose one that ultimately helped me, while seeming to help those to whom I taught the lesson. It was That Your Burdens May Be Light by L. Whitney Clayton of the Presidency of the Seventy. I spent several hours working on the lesson, in the middle of which I made lasagna. Ah lasagna, one of my long-time favorite meals :) Since giving the lesson on Monday things have been going better. While most things have not changed, my attitude has. Here's hoping that I can continue to remember what I've learned, and things will continue to improve.