Friday, September 7, 2012

Write That Down-BYU Women's Conference

Wow, but its been a while.  We didn't write much down, but here's what we had :)

I'm fine-tuning my obnoxious skills.

I know, it's Mickey Mouse. No, Its Bambi.

Do you want me to sprinkle your watermelon with oreos?

I breathed an oreo

Now be quiet so I can finish my ice cream.

If they'll let you buy it for a couple thousand dollars.  No, just put it in your purse.

Talk, so I can write!

Write that down.

That down.

But he didn't really cry so I didn't get up.

She just flicked me in the head!  Come here, so I can flick you in the head.

I've already picked my teeth.  I've had mine since childhood.

You guys, I am so funny.

That's not funny, you don't have to write it down.

I'm fine tuning my process of what is funny and what isn't.

Write that down.

And it's BYU.

Colorado!

She's got a point there.  But she said its not extra points!

We could go to Chevron. 

Write that down.  Why? 'Cause it wasn't funny but when they read it someone will think it was.

Shall we see how many women we can hit with the car?

Subaru, Chevy, Colorado

The tag on my underwear is poking me.

Her gray hairs stand out more when you do it this way.

You didn't poop in the shower, did you?

I spit on your pen, sorry.

I want to wear a sleeveless top but have another top with it

Its your first time, really for reals.

It's not horrible, you can tell!

You just need to document you're....I got my fingers in the right place!  Write that down.

Look, I did a french braid!

Well, I tried not to get your cleavage in, but I can if you want.

I didn't bring a flower with me.

What?  In recent years.  I thought you said I have big ears.

Wow that's really messed up.  Love ya Deborah!

Hold that.  Yes Ma'am.  It can just there.

Don't write that down.

Aren't you glad I'm chesty so it just stops there?

Thanks for letting me say everything through a pen.

Apparently I'm not as chesty as I thought.

That was like a kiss, but it was a pen.

See, I'm so funny-every time I say that, people laugh.

I wanna put my pajamas on so I can be cool like you!  Write that down.

Jeff Dad's gonna call me.

My ear itches.  Want me to kiss it better?  No, that's gross.

You so mess things uip for me.  I love you too.

It says fun.  Of words.  We can make fun of words!

No.  I am the ultimate authority.  Write that down.

This time I'm not going to drop my chocolate milk down the stairs.

It's like a cow bell.  That doesn't mean you're a cow though.  You're not ever like a cow.

You're way winning.  You cheat.

I'm cutching up to you.

Dung Jerky.  That's gross.

It's only funny 'cause its late.

I'm not a cheater!  Choose the right like Jane!

It's ok, I wrote that down.

Yeah, but she would have won.  You couldn't cheat on that one.

No, that's dumb.

What's the fun of winning if you can't cream everyone in the process?

But I can't go from mangy to mingy.

I have to be really obnoxious so that Laura can learn.

I don't think we're morning people.  We're not funny.

Hi BY!



Write-that down participants:  Karrie Phillips, Deborah Phillips, Laura Wampler :)

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Changes

I've made a few changes in my life recently. I have a piano, three new sets of shelves (two are set up, waiting on the third), even a queen-size bed. We are reorganizing the front of my store, and I am finally getting caught up on all of my filing and organizing there.

One of the biggest changes though in my personal life would be that I joined Weight Watchers. I have done this a couple of times before, but didn't succeed. So why try again?

In The King's Speech, we follow the Duke of York in his journey to overcome his speech impediment while working through the death of his father, the king, the reign of his own brother the king, and in stepping up to the throne himself. When Bertie and his wife first start working with Lionel Logue, speech therapist, they only want to work on speech mechanics. Lionel lets them know that this will only deal with the surface of the problem, not the underlying causes. While they insist that this would be satisfactory, Bertie continues to be plagued by stammers and pauses. It isn't until he opens up to Lionel about what plagues him in his personal life (his first nanny, the death of one of his brothers from epilepsy, the 'treatments' to 'cure' him of being left-handed and knock-kneed, among other things) that he really makes progress towards overcoming his struggles.

My struggles and insecurities have not manifested in a speech impediment, but in what essentially amounts to an eating disorder-I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it. I used food to medicate my ills, my low self-esteem, stress, fear. It is time to overcome these.

I joined Weight Watchers in February, and have officially lost 20.8 lbs so far. In working to overcome and to progress, I have set a goal to lose a total 100 lbs by my next birthday, March 1st 2013. That's an additional 79.2 lbs, an average of 1.8 lbs per week, and it is going to happen.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Washington Excerpts Day Four

Preface: Yep. That's all she wrote.

Dude, I actually saw a snow plow last night!

Maybe it was a UFO.

Those trucks are probably jealous we can go 40 miles per hour. That's ok, we're from Utah.

Snowy shoe purse!

KDDC broke down in Pendleton forever ago.

Do you have your spite pen? Why yes, yes I do.

Hey, we've been there before!

We dance like white girls, mom.

We can't see any roadkill in the snow.

Deborah just whistled at us.

Dog road kill! It isn't funny anymore.

She boob-called you.

Cows

I wrote that down

British Columbia! That's actually kind of cool now that we're not in Washington anymore.

**As a final note, we found license plates from 33 states as long as three bonus ones: US Gov't, Alberta, and (in case you haven't already guessed) British Columbia.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Washington Excerpts Day Three

I typed this all up on Sunday night and lost it right after I finished. Sigh. Sorry for the delay, here we go!

Well, you're gonna hit a pole now, so keep going.

You can't walk on the freeway here.

Why would you hitch hike to Canada from Utah?

So long as you're not breaking my car, at least to your knowledge.

I wonder if that rock is still there.

Look, the rock is still there!

It's ok, we're from Utah. No its not, we should know how to park in the snow.

We don't recognize any of the little kids. Even a little bit.

She put wama instead of wanna.

This way I can just turn this way.

Wow, I did not go the right way. By the way.

Hey its your turn. Hey its your turn. Hey, I'm turning.

The other state that we're not in.

Hey it looks the same. Weird.

Oh look. British Columbia.

I dried it for you.

This skirt doesn't fit as well after I eat.

Is he the one that taught us how to pop people's eyes out?

Its not your hair growing, its your skin shrinking.

You ready? I reckon'

The road is wet therefor my window is gross.

Tell Deborah that

If you want something clean try clorox toilet water.

While Sarah was sleeping.

If you weren't so short, I wouldn't step on it.

Am I going to hit anything? Your face. Oh, you were right.

We had church.

This is a big chocolate shake that gives your cheeks exercise.

Speech access

Hey we drove there

You just don't see a lot of dead shipyards in Utah

Entering Everett

Will you guys stop talking so I can eat?

It is what it is.

My kids are totally going to have full body snow suits

I was thinking one of them would be a garbage bag yet.

Mom's bobbing her head

I like pizza

Is 'some stuff' a group?

You just cut off that truck, mom. No I didn't, he was behind me.

Did you say beating your children again?

If your hair isn't becoming, you should be coming to us.

I thought you were gonna hit that guy, mom. I thought I was too.

Look, Vern Fonk!

Drive around three times, stop, and you're there.

Very worse case is it'll take us right where we want to go.

Oh man, we're gonna die!

The only uphell road in Everett.

I'm just afraid I'm gonna use up all my happy. That's ok, happy multiplies.

Ok you start it. Giggle! Hurry, giggle!

It's ok, we're from Utah.

What are the side effects of a burp, by the way?

I do not throw up government vehicles. That would hurt.

Ferns! Snow covered ferns!

I kind of want to write that, but I kind of don't.

I don't know if I don't know where I'm going.

It was a pink sparkly one.

Amy throw that away before I try to eat it and choke on it.

Hey look, an island!

Mom, I'm gonna cut her hair off. Why? Because it won't actually hurt her, but it'll make me feel better.

Can I just say Bertha? Can't you just call me Nubbins?

Its ok, we're from Utah

Give me a key. I mean my wallet.

Oh my gosh, it's a honey bucket!!

You little ninny? Mom just called you a ninny!

We're not all binding. We're bonding.

Go to the side of him, mom. Don't go through him.

2 Mustang Suit

I'm so glad we came to the water.

Pirates!!!

That looks like a fake seagull.

Clear the decks! There's a storm coming!

She's late to everything!

There's the other purposeful walking guy. He's still purposefully walking.

Cover your mouth when you talk.

That's dumb. It's well ventilated.

I'm primed.

No skating!

Are we slower traffic? 'Cause we're keeping right.

Whoa, it's snowing.

Wait, they have speed limits that high??

This is Whidbey Island as we've never seen it before. White.

We must be from Utah. Why? 'Cause we rolled down the window and its snowing?

That's right, the pillow.

Deborah, I'm sorry I called you a foghorn. That's ok, I still love you.

I forget how to make it so they can't.

There's a fork over there.

They still have Christmas decorations. I like this store!

I'm glad I got this cart to carry my purse.

We can't tell her to write stuff down and then get mad when she's not paying attention while she's writing stuff down.

Attach this to the moose.

I have no idea where I'm going.

Weeeeeee!

Dimsum!

I'm not writing that down.

They clean gutters.

We're playing corners and I forgot and she hit my shoulder.

Shush! I'm writing that down.

Send, text, send! I have one bar! Fly like the wind, bar!

I just got stuck on your coat.

We just got banished from each other!

That's we were both like wooooo!

I swear every time I start laughing I start crying.

Elbow to face contact!

Help! I can't get up!

I don't want to play corners anymore.

Actually, I think I faced your elbow.

That's what she said

That was, like, rag-doll style.

I won't say that because I'm worried that it might upset you.

Deborah, I love you.

Mom needs her steps.

Will you file that please?

I will in a minute, I haven't found my hat yet.

There you go, used candles.

No wonder I'm naked! (Thank you, clothing store sign ;) )

According to facebook, we were only lost for 5 minutes.

I'm not sure about the middle e.

Thanks for sharing that with me, Deborah. It enhanced my experience here on Whidbey Island.

We'll go on the ferry 'cause its more funner.

Stop laughing, 'cause I'll start crying and it will freeze to my face

Dad taught me that.

Maybe I'll wear that shirt on Tuesday.

I only buy silver rings 'cause that way when I take it off it actually comes off instead of staying there.

I pushed on your wipers trying to do cruise control.

You just scared the crap out of me. I didn't know you had that much crap in you to begin with. (this after the bananas had been scared out of her earlier in the day)

Are we gonna hit rush hour again?

I love how we're, like, quoting ourselves.

'Cause even if you turn it off, it flashes.

I would have been afraid to turn around and look.

I just poked myself in the eyeball.

That elephant just kills me.

Recreation next left. I don't blame them.

Does Double Bluff mean they bluffed twice, or that they're bluffing at the same time? Maybe they bluffed twice in the same sentence.

Are we there yet? Yes, get out.

Use-Less Bay

That down.

We've been in that goose. Awkward. Really awkward.

Now when we get back we can just tell everybody MOOSE! (I don't know if anyone remembers what mom was going to say there, so MOOSE!)

What if ferries don't have human-sized bathrooms?

I think we're just closer to it.

The lady from Canada said kilometers.

Done ran out of room.

Deborah Deborah Deborah! I really need you to stop making me laugh!

Yeah, and they're sparkly butt.

Good thing I wrote it down.

Run like the wind, Bullseye!

Sarah, did you find us? No, where did you go?

Mom, did you find us? Hey, I just said that!

Which purple shirt yesterday?

And that's why I wasn't gonna say yes.

Hey, my mom says I'm special.

Do we need to read the list?

I'm talking about the hotel key. But yeah, I do that too.

Thanks for talking me into coming (see Day Two)

I'm practicing locking my door.

It's ok 'cause I'm cute.

A conversation implies two parties. She was listening! You were monologuing.

That's ok. It's one of those "Utah" jokes.

We're the only funny ones.

Ow! Mom hit you.

An albino chocolate lab? That is awesome! I want one of those.

It's really bad when you're the one the band makes fun of.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Washington Excerpts Day Two

Preface: Today was definitely more eventful than yesterday. Brace yourself.

Did you break in? Yes, I needed water. At least she's not going to the bathroom.

Did you just smack mom in the boob?

Slam your door hard!

We already got British Columbia.

Oh, it's British Columbia too. Lame.

Now I know what it feels like to be you. (I was driving, so Sarah was scribing)

I can't wear sparkly butt at work.

I was just taking care of Amy's sound effects.

That down.

This isn't waterproof.

That's ok we don't live here, we don't have to come back.

My shirt got wetter in here than it did outside!

I haven't done that since Junior High

At least it didn't come up my nose.

Don't write that down.

She can walk back, can't she?

We are not boring, but I still have a tickle in my throat.

What did you want me to do, catch it?

Maybe we should write that down.

I'm not gonna write that down.

I feel really close to my steering wheel right now.

I can't wear that skirt with hairy legs.

I don't know any skirts with hairy legs.

It's raining, there shouldn't be any helicopters.

My eyes are all swollen now and red.

Guys, Guys! We're not that funny!

I think I've used up all my happy for the day.

Man.

I didn't know that lunch could be an aerobic exercise.

I almost pulled a mom.

I don't have a sneaky pocket. Oh shoot, I do!

That's probably why it was on sale.

I forgot my clothes.

So go right, not wrong.

That house is on fire. It had smoke coming out the chimney.

It's ok, we're from Utah.

Mom: You looking at license plates still? Sarah: Idaho!

Come on, stupid! (in reference to a car on the freeway on our way to the wedding)

Every time your hand comes out of your hair, I flinch.

Whisper sweet nothings in my ear.

She has a new quest in life.

The daily journal for the on the go working woman. Why is that funny? It just is.

She was thinking she wanted to engage you in conversation.

We are really good at this game. What game? Exactly.

Don't crash.

I keep thinking I recognize people but I don't because I recognize them from home.

It's like we got here, so they could start.

Maybe the shock of seeing me will induce labor.

Now I'm going to have to spend more coins to get on top again.

I'm gonna shoot for six, but I'm with her.

That down.

It's been a bad bad day. Write that down.

All you needed was a flash mob and you would have had something.

You didn't wave. You didn't either.

We're driving, mom. It's inconvenient and awkward.

Oh, it's just British Columbia.

I don't like you people anymore. It's ok, we never really liked you.

Amy told me I didn't have to.

Mom: He needs work or a helping hand. Here, cut off your hand. Amy: That wouldn't be very helpful.

We had to come to Seattle for it to snow. (Coincidentally, we actually didn't even make it to Seattle because of the snow)

Hey, we drove right there.

They're not from here either. Turn off your lights.

Are you talking about me?

We're over five pages? Write that down.

It's Seattle, everything works when its wet. Even roof fixers.

Sorry it took so long, I had to wait for them to cook the cookies.

Clean up, clean up everybody everywhere, clean up clean up everybody do your share. Write that down.

It's ok, we're from Utah.

I'm your elder, respect me! Ow, boob punch!

Too bad, so sad!

These pants make me feel skinny.

But hey. The worse that could happen is we'll die.

Off I-5 or I-405, take the Alderwood Mall exit.

What's that one? British Columbia. No, it really is.

Sarah's touching me!

I can't believe you guys talked me into this.

They're a lot nicer here than they are in Utah

It is kind of salty. There is an ocean after all.

There is no gas.

Send it to my phone, ok? Oh, you took it on my phone.

Hey, they have the shingles vaccine here.

Put that down. We are dang good.

Chiropractic dentistry. That's weird.

Excuse me. I burped. You can write that down.

Mom's phone is making blinky things.

I have a new purse, so it doesn't really matter.

That's the beauty of the list. They don't know.

That down.

I wrote that down.

Mom, you're not old enough.

No. (Sarah follows with a dirty look)

Diet and a Doctor.

I feel like I have eight different things going through my head right now. And one going down your shirt.

That's because I was burping and I didn't want to.

He can't help it, he was born that way. (speaking of a latino Where's Waldo baby's big ears)(...I don't think he had much control over the outfit, either)

Someone spiked your mashed potatoes.

No. Well... ? No.

I though all my happy was used up today.

I'm ok being a snot.

I'm ok being shot?

That's a hard core stream.

Jacob is so more better than Edward.

She stole her keys out of my purse.

Yes, we sell muscle.

Geez, that scared me to death. I almost died there.

I said us. I never said us involved you.

Stickers have a tendency to do that sometimes.

There's three British Columbia's in a row.

Ok starting right now, whoever talks looses. (This lasted from the time the elevator doors closed until they opened again one floor later)

It's McGee!

Alberta! Don't we already have Alberta? Yeah, but at least it's not British Columbia.

It's ok, we're from Utah.

You don't talk, but you talk with your mouth closed.

I'm just glad I didn't shave my knees!

She's throwing blood at you.

It's Moist!

Washington Excerpts Day One

As a preface, these are things that were decided to be notable, just don't ask for a list of criteria. As the group appointed trip note-taker, I hereby post the following:

Cat on Freeway

Sweater Fuzzies

Cows on a Hill

Deborah Write that Down

That Down

Sarah is Scentimental

Boobie Squish

Cows Walking in a Line

Shetland Pony

University of Phoenix

Cat Roadkill

Firewood

Duck!

Hay! Hey! Hay!

Duck! I saw a road kill duck!

I did not see it, therefore it does not exist. (In reference to a running cow)

Roadkill Raccoon!

Goats!

Holy Cow!

Look! It's Glinda!

At 11:06 we crossed to Oregon from Idaho. Deborah, write that down.

It was 7:25 when we crossed to Idaho.

We left at 5:30 and then mom ran a red light.

I should have flashed the truck driver. (Thanks for that, mom)

And it is 3:14 (2:14 Washington time)

Are we over the bridge yet? My feet are tired.

What ring do you want to get a finger for?

That Down

Amy and Sarah saw the pink on the mountains.

Oh wow, a car on fire.

Look there's Seattle! Oooohh...

There are three sets of zero, then one zero, then 119

Whoa Whoa Whoa!

When you said kinky, I didn't expect it to be followed by neck.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Bill & Morgan's Wedding

Congratulations, Bill and Morgan!  Belated though it may be, here, finally is (yet another) record of the event.

The sunny July day started out with Morgan and I going to get our hair done.  Morgan was done first, and as I was getting my hair finished up I snapped a couple shots of the excited Bride:


Afterwards, we hurried back to the house, for me to change and for us to pick up the flowers.  We got down to Draper with only one flower mishap, yay!  Once there, we joined in the pre-wedding excitement, including some set-up and some lunch.  I was able to get some great pics of the family:

The Groom and Best Man



The Groom's (and my) Mom



The Groom's (and my) Dad, Niece/Flower Girl, and Nephew/Ring Bearer

And, of course, the Bride!


This one just kind of makes me laugh :)

There are actually a few dozen pictures, if you want to see more let me know!

Here are a few of the wedding itself:


The Bride and her Mom walking 'down the aisle'

The ceremony itself :)

Exchanging Rings

The Happy Newlyweds!
(ok, so I tried to get a picture of the kiss, but missed out, drats!)

And now for the post-wedding activities:

Post-Wedding Rehydration

The Groom's Family (including the new addition of Morgan Phillips! Yay!)

Man and Wife :)

After the ceremony and family pictures, we prep'ed for the reception.  There were a lot of family guests, and of course some wedding cake!


Bill is smiling!  Good thing I documented it! ;)

This was actually my favorite pic by far of the happy couple :)

And, of course, what reception would be complete without the ritual decoration of the car?

The "Before" Pics:


The "During" Pics:

Cousin Eric Stephens dedicatedly blowing up balloons

Dalton very dedicatedly taking the blown-up balloons to the car to be put inside--adorable!!

Cousin Cory Stephens and Michael beginning the shrink-wrap (post toilet-papering the inside, of course!)
Sarah adding the 'Just Married' amid the Oreos on the rear windshield which, unlike the ones on the front, weren't already melting

Here you see Christian talking to someone off-camera, but what I particularly enjoy is that Dalton is standing between Eric and his then-girlfriend (now fiance, congrats!), whom he decided would be his girlfriend for the day-he was very upset anytime he couldn't hang out with her!  Oh, and of course he's eating an Oreo :)

Lisa doing a second-coat on the "Just Married", just in case anyone couldn't tell by the shrink-wrap and balloons!

The "After" Pics:


and, of course, the "After-After" Pics:


So as not to belabor the post any longer, I have opted to close out here.  Bill and Morgan enjoyed their honeymoon in Park City for a couple of nights and returned home happy :)

And, because I just can't resist, here are a couple of pics with Dalton and his 'girlfriend' for the day:


ok, and his cupcake, just because I can :)