Washington Excerpts Day Two

Preface: Today was definitely more eventful than yesterday. Brace yourself.

Did you break in? Yes, I needed water. At least she's not going to the bathroom.

Did you just smack mom in the boob?

Slam your door hard!

We already got British Columbia.

Oh, it's British Columbia too. Lame.

Now I know what it feels like to be you. (I was driving, so Sarah was scribing)

I can't wear sparkly butt at work.

I was just taking care of Amy's sound effects.

That down.

This isn't waterproof.

That's ok we don't live here, we don't have to come back.

My shirt got wetter in here than it did outside!

I haven't done that since Junior High

At least it didn't come up my nose.

Don't write that down.

She can walk back, can't she?

We are not boring, but I still have a tickle in my throat.

What did you want me to do, catch it?

Maybe we should write that down.

I'm not gonna write that down.

I feel really close to my steering wheel right now.

I can't wear that skirt with hairy legs.

I don't know any skirts with hairy legs.

It's raining, there shouldn't be any helicopters.

My eyes are all swollen now and red.

Guys, Guys! We're not that funny!

I think I've used up all my happy for the day.

Man.

I didn't know that lunch could be an aerobic exercise.

I almost pulled a mom.

I don't have a sneaky pocket. Oh shoot, I do!

That's probably why it was on sale.

I forgot my clothes.

So go right, not wrong.

That house is on fire. It had smoke coming out the chimney.

It's ok, we're from Utah.

Mom: You looking at license plates still? Sarah: Idaho!

Come on, stupid! (in reference to a car on the freeway on our way to the wedding)

Every time your hand comes out of your hair, I flinch.

Whisper sweet nothings in my ear.

She has a new quest in life.

The daily journal for the on the go working woman. Why is that funny? It just is.

She was thinking she wanted to engage you in conversation.

We are really good at this game. What game? Exactly.

Don't crash.

I keep thinking I recognize people but I don't because I recognize them from home.

It's like we got here, so they could start.

Maybe the shock of seeing me will induce labor.

Now I'm going to have to spend more coins to get on top again.

I'm gonna shoot for six, but I'm with her.

That down.

It's been a bad bad day. Write that down.

All you needed was a flash mob and you would have had something.

You didn't wave. You didn't either.

We're driving, mom. It's inconvenient and awkward.

Oh, it's just British Columbia.

I don't like you people anymore. It's ok, we never really liked you.

Amy told me I didn't have to.

Mom: He needs work or a helping hand. Here, cut off your hand. Amy: That wouldn't be very helpful.

We had to come to Seattle for it to snow. (Coincidentally, we actually didn't even make it to Seattle because of the snow)

Hey, we drove right there.

They're not from here either. Turn off your lights.

Are you talking about me?

We're over five pages? Write that down.

It's Seattle, everything works when its wet. Even roof fixers.

Sorry it took so long, I had to wait for them to cook the cookies.

Clean up, clean up everybody everywhere, clean up clean up everybody do your share. Write that down.

It's ok, we're from Utah.

I'm your elder, respect me! Ow, boob punch!

Too bad, so sad!

These pants make me feel skinny.

But hey. The worse that could happen is we'll die.

Off I-5 or I-405, take the Alderwood Mall exit.

What's that one? British Columbia. No, it really is.

Sarah's touching me!

I can't believe you guys talked me into this.

They're a lot nicer here than they are in Utah

It is kind of salty. There is an ocean after all.

There is no gas.

Send it to my phone, ok? Oh, you took it on my phone.

Hey, they have the shingles vaccine here.

Put that down. We are dang good.

Chiropractic dentistry. That's weird.

Excuse me. I burped. You can write that down.

Mom's phone is making blinky things.

I have a new purse, so it doesn't really matter.

That's the beauty of the list. They don't know.

That down.

I wrote that down.

Mom, you're not old enough.

No. (Sarah follows with a dirty look)

Diet and a Doctor.

I feel like I have eight different things going through my head right now. And one going down your shirt.

That's because I was burping and I didn't want to.

He can't help it, he was born that way. (speaking of a latino Where's Waldo baby's big ears)(...I don't think he had much control over the outfit, either)

Someone spiked your mashed potatoes.

No. Well... ? No.

I though all my happy was used up today.

I'm ok being a snot.

I'm ok being shot?

That's a hard core stream.

Jacob is so more better than Edward.

She stole her keys out of my purse.

Yes, we sell muscle.

Geez, that scared me to death. I almost died there.

I said us. I never said us involved you.

Stickers have a tendency to do that sometimes.

There's three British Columbia's in a row.

Ok starting right now, whoever talks looses. (This lasted from the time the elevator doors closed until they opened again one floor later)

It's McGee!

Alberta! Don't we already have Alberta? Yeah, but at least it's not British Columbia.

It's ok, we're from Utah.

You don't talk, but you talk with your mouth closed.

I'm just glad I didn't shave my knees!

She's throwing blood at you.

It's Moist!