From Then to Now...You Choose

Think back to High School. To the teenage years. We go to school for almost a decade before we reach it-just another first day, just another lunch break, just another gym class or math assignment. Yet everything is in flux. Feelings are changing, the pressure is increasing, and everything is so much more dramatic than it ever could have been before, sometimes even earth shattering. We're young enough that we're not quite sure what to do, and old enough that we're too proud to let anyone else know it. But we deal with the hard times as best we can, and roll with the high times.

When does that cycle end? Well, for some of us it never does. We start settling into habits, behavioral patterns, and never see outside ourselves enough to know that frequently the change needs to come from us, not from those by whom we feel 'wronged'. How could we possibly be at fault? We did everything the way we should have, could have. They are the ones that need to change, they are the ones that need to see what they're doing to us.

Bull. Pull away from that reflection, Narcissus, or you'll drown. You are an intregal part of every situation, every challenge in your life, and therefore have the power to affect change in each situation and challenge, both for the better, and for the worse. In those times when we truly are the root of the problem, we need to be humble enough to take responsibility for our actions, and then work to improve. In those times when we are truly not to blame (and be honest with yourself on whether or not you are or might be), think about what's going on, what could be going on, that would affect the person/situation and don't judge prematurely.

Many times, more than we'd care to admit, the problem comes from both ends, from them and from us. Those are the difficult times to determine that we may be at fault to some degree, to decide where we need to change and where perhaps the other person could stand to improve. Once acknowledged, however, the hardest part comes in the realization that we can't expect them to change, no matter how much we try or want it. We must first change ourselves, most importantly in our perspectives and attitude. How much is your pride truly affecting your views? In my experience pride is at the root of the vast majority of relationships, both personal and professional. Are you mad because of a true wrong or injustice, or because someone stepped on your proverbial toes? On the opposite side, are you happy because of a job well done, or because someone stroked your ego afterwards?

So what does this all have to do with High School? As teenagers, we are starting to work through some of the same levels of pressures experienced as working adults, but without the perspective we can gain over time. As adults, if we choose to develop and progress, we build a reference of knowledge and experience to pull from as we face new and increasingly complex issues, giving us the groundwork from which to pull both strength and solutions. We also have the choice, to let life knock us down and roll over us. Guess what, though-it's totally up to you. Is the challenge facing you out to break you, or are you there to progress, to learn what can be learned and rise to the future, knowing that you've worked through hard times throughout your past and will triumph in the future? The choice is yours, and yours alone.