BYU Women's Conference

Last week I was able to attend BYU Women's Conference down in Provo with Mom and Laura. It was my...fifth? time going, and I'm sure glad I did. It's been a while since I've been truly spiritually fed; I haven't been attending church regularly in, well, a lot longer than I care to even think about. Particularly in the last year, ever since I was made Retail and Admissions Supervisor in my store, and even more particularly since my store was outsourced and I was made General Manager under the new company. Fortunately, though, I made a great decision in saying 'yes' to mom when she wanted to find out if I was going this year.


I admit I was not particularly spiritually inclined the first day. I had spent the previous day with an insanely nasty headache (not a migraine, oddly enough), and only had four hours of sleep the night before. I did get a few good quotes though (wording may not be exact):

"Ideals are stars to steer by; they are not stickes to beat ourselves with."

"People are unique, and one size never fits all!"

"Righteousness has never precluded adversity, but it can be a source of inner strength and peace."

"No one's life can be both faith-filled and stress-free."

Friday started a bit better, after a good night's sleep. Before the first session, I went and got some chocolate milk for all three of us; when I got it back, I handed Laura hers and started into the aisle. I was passing the second one behind my back to hand to Mom, it dropped and started bouncing down to the front of the Marriot Center, eep! Actually, we were only on the fourth row. I handed Mom the last chocolate milk and headed down after it, with the announcement "what can I say, I like it well-shaken!" to the women I was passing (it was actually rather humorous, the right comment at the right time, you know?). I got the bottle, back up to my seat, and was relieved to find not even a crack in it, the delicious chocolate goodness all still safely contained within.

After the first session, we were all going to get lunch before splitting off to go to our own choice of sessions (we had spent the first day all together). Mom and Laura both picked up some Cafe Rio salads; not hungry myself, and let's face it still rather moody, I decided to not inflict myself on them any longer and headed off to the BYU Bookstore. Let's face it, when am I not at home in a bookstore? While there I actually spent some time making recommendations to a couple of moms looking for good books for their teenagers, which definitely marked the beginning of my attitude shift (witty chocolate milk comment aside) to the positive; two things I'm good at--helping people, and fantasy literature :). After making my own selections, I bolted down a quick lunch (not having realized how much time had passed in the bookstore) and headed off to my first selected session, "Enfold Me in Thy Quiet Hour". This is one of the few classes that I came to know that the Lord wanted to me to attend, and I am so glad I listened. It's not like I really learned anything new, just new ways to apply what the Lord has taught me over the years. While I was greatly uplifted by the class as a whole, one of the statements that had the most impact on me goes something like this:

"The thought in your mind at this moment is contributing...to the shaping of your soul"

Given that I have spent the last...well...long time thinking mostly less-than-positive ones, I officially flipped the switch on my attitude and began truly enjoying my day, eagerly drawing in the rest of the class and eagerly anticipating the rest of the Conference. Yay!

After the final concurrent session, we all met back up at the Marriot Center for the official Final Session with Elder David A. Bednar and Sister Bednar. It is while waiting for the final session to start that I really started getting the message the Lord had sent me that morning. The theme of the conference was "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass" (Alma37:6-7). By one small and simple act of keeping that chocolate milk bottle whole, the Lord had shown me directly that He is present in the small and simple things, and a great impact was made on my heart and spirit. The Lord took the time to show me a miracle, a small and simple miracle. "Wow" doesn't even begin to describe how I felt when the Spirit told me that.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes of day 2 (again, not necessarily word for word):

"I do this because this is what the Lord taught me to do"

"[Relief Society] is not a passee organization, it is in its ascendancy!"

"Charity is covenant-keeping at its purest; it is more than benevolence, it is becoming like Christ and partaking of the atonement"

"How foolish and futile to walk through life without divine help!"

"Much more power is available to us in mortality than we take advantage of"

"Do I really do all I can to receive the Spirit in my life, or do I allow outside influences to distract me?"

"Speeding tickets have nothing to do with our worth as daughters of God"

"The Lord knows all and is over all--we are never outnumbered!"

"Children are like wet cement--whatever falls on them makes an impression"

"Fear not, be of good cheer; the future is as bright as your faith"

"We should find comfort that ordinary people, through God, will bring amazing results"

"Steadiness over time is more effective than 'spiritual-spurting'" or, as Neal A. Maxwell put it, "Measured steadiness is more effective than spurts then slackness"

Like Laura, I find myself with an abundance of notes (33 pages in my case). If you like anything you've read here, let me know and I'll be happy to pass along a few more :)

Overall, I have found myself to be much happier and at peace with where I'm at in my life. It was actually a rather spiritual week--I had attended a meeting at the Conference Center the Tuesday before, and the first official Stake Conference of a brand new stake, at which I think my favorite quote I jotted down was:

"You either have the Spirit or you don't"

I admit it tickled my funny bone a bit and brought out a smile that day, but frankly that about sums it all up. I only hope to find myself within the first half of that statement more often than not.

O Friend, Thou Didst Die in Thy Youth

Today we (ok, I) mourn the passing of one who came to mean much in a very short time. Only one month and three days mark the beginning of a beautiful relationship, in which one was filled with hundreds of thousands of thoughts, declarations, poetry and epic adventures to share with another at any and all hours of the day, every day of the week, every week of the entire month (and three days) they were together. It was a time of joy, a time of thought, a time of laughter and a time for tears (not all tales have happy endings, just ask King Arthur). Twelve entire books found a home in the heart of one who has now shaken off the mortal coil. Fortunately the books dwell on, unlike my now memorialized friend. Rest in peace, Kindle.

I have to admit, one of my favorite blog posts was the one I did mourning the passing of my old tv. It still makes me laugh that I wrote it in such a way as to leave readers wondering who I was talking about. In a way the passing of another electronic made me kind of glad I could sort-of do it again :)

The question now, though, becomes this: do I get a new Kindle to replace the one that was consumed, or do I choose a nookColor instead? I have to say they both have their pros and cons, and I still can't quite decide which direction to go. Any thoughts?

Tough Love

Once upon a fictional modern time a man was given a chance to build an ark. Recently elected as a US congressman, Evan Baxter embarks on a journey that is both incredibly difficult and inspiring. After announcing on a very public broadcast of a congressional meeting that he had been commanded by God to build the ark, his wife packs up the kids and heads back to their home town, leaving Evan in the sprinklers out on the lawn. Remembering having been told that whatever was done was done because the Lord loved him, in his discouragement he cries out "Do me a favor, love me less."

I am having a particularly difficult time this year, both at work and in my personal life, through which I feel I can relate to this statement. Sometimes I wish the learning could take a break, that for a while life could just be easy for a change. I hear of the vacations friends take and the loving relationships they are in and I find myself struggling to sit through anything akin to a romantic comedy. If only life would fit into what I wish it would be for a change, and I wouldn't have to constantly run up against tests, temptations and trials.

Fortunately, though, I know better. I truly know that the Lord loves me, and it is through that love that I have been and will continue to Spirit would teach me. That there are so many lessons to learn in this short time of mortality that cannot be taught without taking the tests, overcoming the temptations and working through the trials. My life is so much more in so many ways that it could have been had I had my girlhood fairy tales come true. So if you see me struggling at times, know this: I know that I am the daughter of a Heavenly Father that loves me enough to guide me through those lessons that will bring me more eternal joy than I could ever possibly imagine.

A Cow-less Christmas

This year, as the first in quite some time that we have had music playing in our store, I have been making an effort to get in some good Christmas music (yes, before Thanksgiving, I know). My first shot of course was to go to the music I have been listening to for years, the music I've grown up with, including Mannheim Steamroller, Elmo and Patsy's Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, and more. I've tried to make sure that they are both kid-friendly and not staff-inciting (hence no Chipmunks, even I couln't listen to that one more than once or twice a season, let alone once or twice a day).

One cd I thought perfectly fit the bill is one our family has listened to for years: It's a Cow Christmas, featuring such songs as Deck the Stalls, We Three Cows, Angus We Have Heard on High, and God Rest Ye Merry Cattlemen to name a few. One of my favorites is The Twelve Days of Christmas listing gifts such as Five Brass Nose Rings and alfalfa as far as you can see.... So having enjoyed this cd for much of my life, I merrily brought it in.

Much to my dismay, I have replaced the cd at the request of my staff. Sigh. Such an uncultured lot, but what can a gal do. Fortunately for me I have coworkers at the zoo that will now be able to benefit from it :) This year though, alas, I shall have a cow-less, or rather a "less-cow" Christmas.

Christmas Concerts in the Rain

So it has been over 2 months since I last updated my blog. For good reason, I like to think, though a small part of me confesses it's from laziness. I have been working at least 60 hours a week for so long that I get home, spend a bit of time with the family, and get to bed just in time to gear up for the next day.

Finally, though, I have something blog worthy! One of the advantages of working at the Gateway Mall is having advance notice of events. Tonight was the 9th annual Light Up the Night event, where the Christmas Tree is lit and Santa arrives. I have never attended one before now (though this is actually my 3rd year at the mall) and wasn't planning on it this year until I learned that Peter Breinholt would be performing. Yay!

I woke this morning with the beginnings of a migraine and almost didn't make it in, but I geared up, took some meds and got a bottle of coke and headed in to work, and fortunately it cleared off a couple hours later. As I have only had 2 days off in a really really long time I decided I could skip out for a bit, grabbed my sweatshirt (having forgotten my coat at home), and headed outside. Yes, the performance was outdoors, and anyone who has seen anything of the news knows there is a big storm coming in, and we have had mixed rain and snow all evening. Undaunted, I made it through his entire performance, believing it was most definitely worth it. And yes, it was indeed definitely most worth it. He sang one song I hadn't heard before that I intend to find, and one of my favorites, Edwin's Tale. I also loved feeling the music of Jerusalem, his last song. What a powerful performance!

He performed for about 45 minutes, during which time I got soaked through. I made it through--courtesy both his awesome music and the promise to myself of a venti hot chocolate afterwards. I picked up the hot chocolate (with cinnamon dolce, very warming!) on my way back to my office and sit even now right next to a space heater at full blast. Yay again!

Overall, I most definitely enjoyed the event, and am definitely more in the Christmas spirit than I have been in some time :)

A Long Day

As the title of this update should suggest, yesterday was a really, really long day. It started at 3:11 AM, four hours after I had fallen asleep towards the end of a migraine. Sometimes when they end I am really energetic, and while not bouncing off the walls, it did take me another two or so hours to fall back asleep. I got up in time to make it to work at 8:00 for a meeting, followed by another meeting, followed by three hours on a register, which was followed by another about three hour meeting (the last one was rather fun, I'm working with some new peers over at Hogle Zoo). Shortly after my guests left, I made a much needed phone call, had a discussion with our HR manager, and then it was back on the register for about another hour and twenty minutes, give or take. Around five-thirty or so I finally made it out of the museum and over to Dick's Sporting Goods, where I finally, after four years, bought a new pair of shoes. Not just any shoes, either, but good hiking boots. Not that I hike; they are just my favorite kind of work shoes courtesy durability and good ankle support.

By the time I made it back to work I wasn't quite functioning. Unfortunately, in addition to opening I was also closing, which meant sticking around until eight...or should I say nine-thirty. It took over an hour to get everything closed and cleaned up for the day, and then finish preparing an online order to drop off at the post office. I made it home just after ten o'clock.

It didn't stop there, though. Our store is transitioning to another company, meaning that I will be working for a new company to operate it. With this outsourcing has come a rather large number of questions and concerns, leaving me stranded with at least four separate migraines over the last week. Sigh. After an hour or so I had a conversation with my dad that left me just as stressed as I had been all day. Knowing that, despite my lack of sleep and having worked over thirteen hours that day, I would be unable to sleep, I wanted to take a walk. Well, frankly, that's just not something you do at one o'clock in the morning. Not alone, at least. Instead I hoped into my new (to me) '97 Explorer and started driving.

Back when I worked in Real Estate I would occasionally drop flyers off at the properties my agents had listed for sale. They ranged far and wide, both in location and in price. One of my favorite properties was up right across from where the Draper Temple now stands. While I did like the house itself, I confess I mostly liked it for the view of the valley. It is to this neighborhood that I drove, my thoughts sluggishly and maddeningly fighting for my attention. When I finally made it up there, my favorite view had been blocked by a mansion, but I was able to park at the Temple and collect myself. The Spirit calmed my soul, and I eventually got in the car and started the drive home.

Before I got far, though, I was able to stop at what will now be my favorite spot to view the valley, the sight of a sea of lights stretched out unimpeded before me. It was here that I finally fully relaxed, and new that I would indeed be able to sleep when I got home.

It's amazing to me how both loved and yet almost insignificant I felt overlooking that incredible view. I know who I am, and I know that I am a daughter of God. I also know, however, that each light in some way represented one or many others of God's children, each with their own struggles. I hope that they also know that they have a loving Heavenly Father looking over them too.

A Legacy of Hyrum Smith

Today for our Sacrament Meeting we had a couple of guests-two descendents of Hyrum Smith, brother of Joseph Smith, Jr. They gave stirring talks, speaking as though they were Hyrum and Joseph themselves. As descendents, they had also inherited several historical items. As I have taken to carrying a camera with me, I had it on hand to get the following pictures:

This is the first box that the gold plates were kept in after Joseph retreived them from Cumorah. It was amazing to be able to touch the place where the plates once rested.

These are Lucy Mack Smith's footstool and bell

These are Hyrum Smith's sunglasses. Yes, he had sunglasses. Blue ones. Apparently he also had an astigmatism, and so these have a slight prescription in them.

If I recall correctly, these were Hyrum's weapons in the Nauvoo Legion.

These are the clothes that Hyrum was wearing when he was in Carthage with Joseph. These are the clothes he was killed in. If you look closely you can see the bullet holes.

So frequently we remember Joseph's actions in the Restoration. I was glad this time to also remember his family, those who always stood by Joseph, through the very end.